About Me
Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it
Wife
Behind every great woman there has to be a great man. Well, it’s certainly true in this case….
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After nine years of wedded bliss to my Australian husband, I’m pretty smug that I get to live with my greatest friend, my number one raving fan, and my strongest anchor.
Bernard is for keeps, that’s for sure.
Keeping things bobbing along takes commitment though. Bern’s needs could be left to fester on the scrap heap after I’ve been squeezed dry by the relentless demands of the kids.
But an investment in our relationship is the greatest gift we can give our children. So invest, we do. Friday night is date night and it’s cast in stone.
Date ‘night’ has been as elaborate as a weekend in Rome, and as simplistic as pizza in pyjamas with the telly off. We took one-week old Elizabeth to dinner with us, much to the delight of the restaurant staff; and had Indian take-away complete with plastic wine glasses in hospital when Benny suddenly raised a temperature one Friday evening.
Nope, nothing gets between us and our date night.
Which all sounds very romantic, but here’s the truth. Come Friday night, we’re both completely shattered. We often drag ourselves out of the house with matchsticks holding our eyes open.
I’ve fallen asleep in the cinema, on the train, in the car… although never in a restaurant… yet (although if Bern doesn’t stop talking about his flippin’ car, I might just do that).
In truth, if we don’t make that solid commitment to spend time together, we probably wouldn’t bother, because life would take over.
Here’s the point. It’s absolutely, categorically and completely worth it. Once they’re all grown up with families of their own, what remains is me and Bern. So we’ve made a pact to be there for each other. Right now.
I don’t want to be salvaging our love from that scrap heap when I’m old and grey.
Mum
Four kids in four years and eight months. We did it. We pulled off our great master plan….
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but phew! It was pretty intense for a while there.
First baby. Clueless. 16 months later. Second baby. Hit by a plank. 16 months later. Third baby. Manageable. Two years later. Final baby. Blissful.
Fred, Alex, Benny and Elizabeth are now 7, 5, 4 and 2, and the baby factory is now officially closed for business.
Being a mother is emotionally demanding, physically exhausting and mentally challenging. It’s also gratifying, contented, and pleasurable, despite the numerous hurdles and hiccups that I, like every other mum, face.
But the biggest lesson I’ve learned? The main person I need to parent is myself. I look at my own behaviour before I start to point the finger at my kids. After all, I’m supposed to be setting the example, right?
I’m still very much a student in the school of mummy-hood. But what I’m learning is powerful. When I’m patient, my children are more responsive. When I’m consistent, they’re less argumentative. When I loosen up about stuff that doesn’t matter, they’re happier. When I stand my ground on the things that do, they’re more cooperative.
The SuperMum Podcast is not about parenting, it’s better than that. And it comes one step before. It’s about nurturing and caring for yourself before anything else, something we so often forget. That way you are giving more to your children than you will ever know. You’re giving them a stronger, more capable, more confident and happier mum.
For me, once I’d conquered my attitude, the rest just fell into place.
Sassy She-Ra
I asked my closest friend, the person who knows me best, to describe me in two words….
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Her reply? Sassy She-Ra
Sassy /‘sasi/ adjective informal: Lively, bold, and full of spirit; cheeky.
She-Ra: He-Man’s twin sister. The Princess of Power from Masters of the Universe.
Well, I might not have used those specific words myself, but maybe she’s on to something? Because despite being someone’s wife and four people’s mother, I’m also a woman. Full of spirit. Full of life. And very much me.
I love my family and wouldn’t have it any other way, but I also save enough time and energy to take care of myself so I’m not completely exhausted. Even better, I never feel guilty when I do take time-out for myself.
Motherhood can be like treading water, trying to stay afloat balancing everything from your health, to the kids, your work, money, and everything around the home.
Guilt is understandable. The maternal part of our brain tells us that in order to give more to our children, we must give less to ourselves. But guilt may be the biggest obstacle in creating a calmer, happier and more balanced atmosphere in your home.
I consider it my responsibility to take time to care for my own needs every single day. By doing something just for me, I’m giving my children a much better version of me.
So put on your own oxygen mask first. When you are refreshed, calm and invigorated, you’ll suddenly see miraculous changes in your children because your capacity to deal with problems improves. Dramatically.
So whatever your heart is telling you to do, carve out a regular time slot as a priority and put yourself at the top of the to-do list for once.
You might just discover your own inner She-Ra just bursting to get out.
Leukaemia Mum
In May 2015, our son Benny was diagnosed with leukaemia, just days before his third birthday….
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Finding out your precious son has Blood Cancer is, well, bloody awful. But you know what? There’s always something positive to be found, even in your darkest hour.
I blog about our journey. Team Benny: The Narrative of a Leukaemia Mum is my bitter sweet, often sad, sometimes laugh your socks off funny, account of our journey.
Over two years later, things have certainly calmed down. Benny still has chemotherapy every single day and will continue his treatment for a while to come, but he’s on the mend and he’ll survive.
But having a child with a serious illness gave me a huge gift. My ‘coming out’ as a positive person.
I’ve often been told, “It’s alright for you.”, “You’re really lucky.”, “If I had what you have, I’d be happy too”
Yes, my life is extraordinary, but that’s nothing to do with luck or circumstances. I believe in creating opportunities. I make tough choices for the better good. I take the plunge, even when it’s scary. I seize the moment and face challenges head on.
So when Benny got cancer, I didn’t think ‘poor me’.
I can’t tell you how devastated I was, the intense pain I felt in my heart, and the magnitude of simply getting through a single day. But everything is given to you for a reason, even if you don’t know what that reason is, and may never know.
But I know. The SuperMum Podcast is my reason. Being a leukaemia mum has changed and moulded me in ways I could never have imagined. And the podcast would never have come about if it wasn’t for Benny’s sickness.
I’m here to serve you. Because deep in my heart, I truly believe that you can fully enjoy and appreciate this rich and exciting journey through motherhood, whatever hardships come with it. And in bringing you The SuperMum Podcast, I hope to touch your life in some small, but positive way.
All you have to do is say yes.
Podcaster
Since I became a mum, I’ve been surrounded by inspiring and extraordinary SuperMums….
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Of course, they don’t label themselves ‘SuperMum’, no mum ever does. They’re just diligently trying to work out this whole motherhood thing like the rest of us. But take my word for it. They’re SuperMums alright.
My mission is to round up these incredible women, pick their brains for wisdom, hear their insights, and share their experiences with you on The SuperMum Podcast. As mums, we can learn so much from each other.
I broadcast my podcast weekly.
On Mum-to-Mum Monday (45 mins), I interview a fellow mum with a story to tell or a message to share. She always has positive attitude to motherhood and I discuss a range of different subjects that I know you’ll find useful and help you conquer motherhood.
My greatest hope is that The SuperMum Podcast will bring positivity and purpose to your journey as a mum.
Are you ready to be inspired?
Globe Trotter
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page….
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I love this quote, given to me on a birthday card from my cousin years ago. It sums up the essence of our family plans. I want to give our kids Chapter One before their childhood is out.
Being married to a military man helps. We move a lot. Six times since we first met, three of those international.
This kind of change isn’t for everyone, but once I’ve got over the inconvenience of packing up one home and moving to another, I love it. We moved to Canberra, Australia at the beginning of 2016 after three years living in London, UK.
Each new place becomes the hub for our next adventure. Be it a day trip, a weekender, or something bigger. We are constantly on the move. Constantly exploring. Constantly turning the next page of that book.
Before Benny got sick we did an incredible European tour. Two weeks, 5,000 miles, eleven major cities and four kids under five. It was exhausting, crazy chaos and we had the time of our lives.
So why am I telling you this?
Because if you want something badly enough, whatever your ‘something’ might be, it’s there for the taking.
The question is, will you go out and claim it?
Entrepreneur
I love the world of business. ‘Enterprise’ is stamped through me like a stick of rock….
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From baking gingerbread men and selling them at car boot sales at the tender age of eight, to launching SuperMum 35 years later and lots in between, my entrepreneurial spirit is embedded deep in my bones.
Having owned and run my therapy business for ten years, as well as getting a business and marketing degree as a mature-aged student, I live and breathe business.
In so many ways, running a family and a home is just like having your own business. You are at the helm of your ship and the buck often stops with you. You have to be self-motivated and self-propelled, and you get out what you put in.
The trouble is, there’s no-one to set the strategy, give you a performance review, or help you reach your targets. You have to figure out your own big picture whilst getting your hands dirty in the grit of the work at the same time. No-one will pull you aside when you’re off schedule or pat you on the back when you get it right.
But I’m excited to share how you can use leadership skills to inspire and influence your family; develop a team mentality amongst your children; and set and achieve goals for yourself and those you love. Your journey through their childhood will be rich and fulfilling, and you’ll have a huge sense of achievement.
Are you ready to claim the title of Family CEO?
Therapist
In my life before kids I was a self-employed therapist in the wellness industry….
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I loved my years working as an aromatherapist and reflexologist. I grew my clinic from a tiny seed into a flourishing and successful business which was a hive of activity for over a decade.
I only shut up shop because a handsome beau from a far away land scooped me up on his white horse and whisked me off into the sunset.
OK, OK. He didn’t have a white horse, but the rest is true.
So I found myself in Australia (from Dorset, UK) with my future husband, but no work permit. So I became a student at the tender age of 33. Four years later, I donned my cap and gown and claimed my Bachelor of Business and Marketing degree. Newborn in one arm, toddler in the other.
But I’m getting off track.
My therapy clients became my friends, and I loved helping them improve their health and mental well-being to enhance their life. And whilst motherhood wasn’t even on my radar personally, I was a huge advocate of mothers taking care of themselves above everything else, so they can be better mums to their children.
But, in my work, I noticed something.
The biggest obstacle preventing people achieving their goals was themselves. Often your worst enemy is lurking between your very own ears. It sparked my journey of discovery into the immense power of a positive mindset.
They say, ‘What you think you become’. I agree. Whether positive or negative, your attitude has a huge impact on the way you handle the cards that life deals you and shapes and moulds your experiences.
So tell me, what do you want to become?
SuperMum
Do SuperMums really exist? They do now, ‘cause I’ve changed the rules….
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The whole SuperMum thing is SO loaded.
Quite honestly, I don’t know any mother who calls herself a SuperMum. Do you?
Because a SuperMum is ‘that’ mother. The one you look at admiringly (and perhaps a little scathingly) because she has it all together. She looks amazing. Her children behave impeccably. She gives her little angels every possible opportunity. She’s successful in everything she does.
And you know what? ‘That’ mother looks at you with envy because you look amazing, your children are behaving impeccably, you’re giving your children so many opportunities, and you’re successful in everything you do.
The point is, we all secretly think every other mum is doing a better job than us.
On the school run, I’m a complete SuperMum. That’s because it’s the favourite part of my day. We’ve made it out of the house and we’re enjoying a good walk; the children are excited and chatty and I enjoy their company; and I get a real buzz from seeing the other mums and having the chance to talk to grown-ups for a change.
But then take a look at me at dinner time and I’m not quite so super! I’m frustrated about the barrage of complaints; peed off because I can’t eat my dinner without having to wipe someones bottom; disheartened about scraping what I’ve just spent half an hour producing, in the bin; and exhausted because I need to spend another half an hour cleaning up the fall out from it.
So when Google told me that a SuperMum is “An exemplary or exceptional mother, especially one who successfully manages a home and brings up children while also having a full-time job.” I decided to throw it in the bin and change the rules.
For me, a SuperMum is a mother who has a positive attitude and doesn’t beat herself up, even when things go wrong. Because the bottom line is, we love our children all the way to the moon and back. We’re doing the best we can, in the best way we know how, to make the best possible life for them.
Based on that, are you a SuperMum?
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