065: Marriage; Should I Stay or Should I go?

with Holly Christie

Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are

[Brené Brown]

I divorced my first husband in my late twenties. My parents ‘stuck it out’ for 28 long and painful years for the sake of us kids. And now I’m blissfully happy in an extremely loving and fulfilling marriage with a man who feels the same way. So when it comes to the question of ‘should I stay or should I go’, I’m torn.

In today’s episode of Mum-to-Mum Monday we’ll be discussing the huge decision of stepping away from a broken marriage and becoming a solo parent.

My guest today is SuperMum, Holly Christie.

Just a few short months ago Holly and her husband were living the ‘married with 2.4 children’ life. She now shares the time she spends with her two young sons who are 3 and 7, with her ex. Holly has tried to keep her life as normal as possible and continues to work around her children’s schedule as a self-employed Social Media expert. Her office is her own front room in London, UK.

Holly says that you never go into a marriage expecting that one day it will all be over, but sometimes you find yourself there.  She and her husband had both grown up knowing marriage was expected of them. Having tried repeatedly to make the relationship work, she realised it was time to throw the jigsaw pieces in the air and lay down a new life with new rules for their family.

The attitude you have towards separation, she says, can influence every area of yours and your childrens’ lives. Neither Holly or her husband wished to relive the acrimony of their own parents’ divorces. So they worked out a way to be solo parents, and co-parent their boys to ensure they experience the best childhood possible.

During this episode we explore living up to the expectations of our parents’ generation but at the same time fitting in with modern demands. We talk about the realities of mothering today, and how social media has led us to different possibilities. We explore how the rise of the ‘mummy power bloggers’ have opened up new channels and support for mums in all stages of parenthood.

I am so happy to have Holly on my show today. She’ll explain how bucking the trend and living the best life for you and your family is not only possible, but in everyone’s best interests.

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In this episode we talk about:

  • Rejecting the ‘Disney Dream’ of a happily ever after marriage
  • Why modelling good behaviour is fundamental to your childrens’ learning experience
  • How to prepare your kids for jobs that haven’t been invented yet in our fast-changing world
  • The difference between your own childhood and the one you’re giving your children
  • How the online world has re-shaped your life, and the role of the ‘power blogger’ in the revolution
  • Applying Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Not This’ to your own life

Hope you enjoy today’s show